Puzzle...Updated..

That being said....aside from everything else, we talked about finishing my degree... and the end game on that track is the level of emergency management Im working towards is strategic, not tactical and executive not operations..

I know things at the opps level.... but thats so I can be more effective as a response planner.. I know about mass casualtys and temporary burial... but that doesnt mean I'll run the back hoe.. it means I know it has to be done..and plan for it..

Yeah.... I filled the wall behind me floor to ceiling....and have 50 more certificates hidden away.. I opted for an artists portfilio to keep my momentos...  Im not as worn out as I was doing the tough guy rodeo but it wasn't anything liteweight.... I studied 80 hours a week.. I attended classes and seminars that involved up to 10 hours driving one way....

I know some weird shit..... Like radiolocical incident management...

I also got a little something from The Energetic Materials Research and Training Center in NM which provides training to US and "friendly foreign governments" in counter-terrorism and explosive handling..

I really do know about kill blast radius....

Mass Casualty incidents, Pandemic influenza and a few other things... It was the mass casualty incidents that bothered me...I remembered something.. they showed someone dying on camera.. close enough to see I could see their pupils blow...

I snapped and came out of my seat cursing... saying "who the fuck took the shots".. Some cocksucker had the time to set up time lapse gear but not hold the kids head while he died....

I thought I washed out and been bounced....... turned out I was one of two that finished....it took a long time to calm down.. I'd given CPR to a 14 year old who died...I was less than a foot from his face.. when his pupils went..

They wanted the guys with the hot reaction....

It still bothers me....

Any way the degree is my back up plan for my dottage....people might get tired of silver or have to tighten their belts.. and I'll never get work with the white hair I have... unless its a highly specialized field or wall art greeter... and then white  its a plus because older guys tend not to panic....

All else aside.... Emergency Management and Contingency Planning is for ever.... and I proposed at a EM conference  that only men over 40 be sent into Radiological or Hazmat mutagenic incidents.... older guys can take higher dosages... and baby making is generally done... the idea was met favorably and is being explored..

What I do and how I live isn't just back bone an bollocks... its not just hustle an gank...  sometimes its serious and lets just what you've got smart guy..

I tend to be in the top %2 of any class....Which explains earlier stuff... but maybe not...

Im an older guy...and I've always been an alpha type, the problem .. Im not stronger, faster, work longer anymore...

But Im smarter, know more and have experience...and Im used to having things my way... which is probably  why this last year or two irks me.......